This is a question that often comes up in internet discussion forums. People want to know if the other people they interact with online are the same ‘in real life’.
It’s likely that people will only know fragmented pieces of you.
Foodie, comedian, registered nurse, enthusiastic debater, armchair political commentator, armchair movie critic, fiercely loyal friend, book lover, amateur photographer, mother, diabetic, bargain shopper or soccer player.
All of those things could be you. But who are you online, really?
You might belong to all kinds of different communities online. And people will often relate to you according to that part of you that is most like themselves. And that part will become most prominent in their minds.
It’s not too different to life– you’ll have different circles of friends and acquaintences, work colleagues, family, neighbours and social groups. All of these circles know different aspects of you.
A person’s perception of you will differ even if they belong to the same circle and even if they have known you all their lives. Every person’s experience of you will be unique.
Reading between the lines
In the online world, people usually can’t see your facial expressions and gestures, they can’t see what you’re wearing and your body language, they can’t hear your tone of voice and don’t know whether you stop to listen in a conversation or whether you forge ahead talking yourself non-stop.
Yet, people will probably make assumptions on all of the above, based on how they perceive you in your blog posts or your discussion forum posts.
So how do you bring YOU online?
That’s a difficult question. The more of you that you bring online, the more chance you have of someone disliking a certain aspect of you. It’s a big world out there, and there are people with greatly different belief systems and experiences to your own.
Accept that you can’t be everything to everyone.
Accept that some people believe that women can’t be comedians or that your political views suck. Really.
If you’re putting something online in a public place, you have to put on big girl pants and accept what comes. (Except of course for bullies or stalkers. These are in a different category altogether.)
Being part of a community means communicating and sharing. And the rewards of friendships, support, new networks, and of yourself growing as a person are invaluable.
You don’t have to tell everyone everything though. And you don’t have to post something the second you hear it– especially if it’s something that make your blood boil. Remember that the moment you put it out there, your words can be copied and can get a lot more mileage than you intended.
If you think your best friend looks like Elvis Presley in her new white jeans (the middle-aged Elvis) — maybe it’s not the best idea you’ve ever had to post a picture of her in Facebook with that caption.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Stick to the schoolyard rules. (Don’t lie, pick fights, cheat or steal. Be a good friend and look out for others. Play nice.)
If you’re trying to project a professional image, conduct yourself professionally. If you get huffy if someone doesn’t agree with you (or worse, call them a stupid skank/witless git etc etc) you’ve just called your professionalism into question.
Who are you online?
You’re evolving. You’re being exposed to massive amounts of information, different views, new friendships, new philosophies. You’re developing new networks and friendships.
Who you are online means different things to different people.
All you can do is to try to project the best of yourself online and be continually open to other people and new ideas. You’ll make the web a better place along the way.
